1.30.07 2 Of Us (Daddy)

I stayed home and kept Elijah home with me today. He's been doing well, and was happy to see me this morning when he got up at 8:30. He's been in a pretty good mood all day. He and I went to Circuit City, Best Buy and CompUSA, all of which he enjoyed. He got to playwith a keyboard at Circuit City. He is walking today, but not like he usually does when he first comes home from the sitter's. He likes to play little boy. On a side note, this is what 'Lijah has eaten today:
banana, cheerios, mango, milk, apricot juice, spelt, peas and a little piece of carrot muffin. Oh, and I think I finally caught a photo of his "pissy" face. Where are the pics? AND, as of 1:15 today, he has not yet evacuated himself. Odd.

1.29.07 Why no pictures? (Mommy)

People have asked me why there aren't any updated pictures of Elijah. One word: BUSY. Andy is incredibly busy and while I am capable of loading pictures on the site, it takes me three times as long as it would take Andy. I don't have that kind of time. So, sorry folks, you will have to wait a bit longer.
Our little guy is getting more and more adapt at the walking and Andy's parents warn me that running will soon emerge. Oh joy.
Its funny to see him get excited when he walks more than just a few steps. He starts out slowly and cautiously and then he gains some momentum which gets him excited. Once excited, he walks faster and then dives for the thing he is walking to, which inevitably makes him fall. He is pretty darn good at catching himself before he smacks his face on the floor which is a good thing. He has even started letting go of furniture and initiating the walking himself. Its amazing how far he has come in the past few days.
Oh, and Elijah has been tricked into eating his vegetables. That, or we are being tricked into giving him oatmeal more often. I have found that oatmeal is an ultimate good. I can mix just about anything in it and he will eat it gladly. That means more vegetables for him and more poopy diapers for me to change. Hmmmm. Maybe I didn't think this through.....

1.26.07 Dry Cake and Other Random Thoughts(Mommy)

Well, it is official. My kid is 1. One year old. Not a baby.
Sniff.
Sob.
Andy and I got 'Lijah a little cake that ended up being kinda dry, but Li Li loved it. We have video of him stuffing his face full of cake. I have never seen him eat something so fast. We now know for sure that he likes chocolate.
It was a quiet celebration, but doing a big deal just didn't seem right. It was pleasant and Quakerly understated.
Yay.
And, embarrassingly enough, I cried while he ate his cake.
Someone at school today said that when a baby starts walking before they are one that they are getting out of the way for a new baby. Don't tell Andy that! Truth be told, I am starting to long for another one. I can wait, but I want another one.
Oh my God, my baby is one. Oh my God, my baby is one. Oh my God, my baby is one. And he's walking. He's one year old and he's really walking now, really going, and moving, and doing it.
Did I mention that my baby is one?
Sigh...

1.26.07 Balls (Daddy)

I'll get to actually writing something in the very near future, but for now I must comment on Elijah's balls. He loves them!
His West Coast Grandparents got him a new toy that you can pull around. It is a bug with three large (smaller than tennis balls) balls that sit on top of it and when you pull it around they spin and spin. You can take the balls off and Elijah is just in awe of them. He is banging them together and looking at their innards. Happy first birthday son. We just toasted to you with a bottle of 2002 Three Saints Cabernet Sauvignon. What better way to celebrate than with balls and wine? Oh, and Elijah is definitely walking now. He took a major leap forward in the walking skills today. Major.

1.25.07 Birthday Eve(Mommy)

A year ago this very night, this very minute, I was huge with child, praying for the pitocin to work so I could GET HIM OUT!! I was bloated with pounds and pounds of water retention from the IV in my arm, which, by the way, was quite painful. (Oddly, the contractions weren't that bad) I was looking at the clock wondering just when my son would be born, and knowing it wasn't going to be for a while. I was dreading the nurse coming in to check my progress, and I was begging Andy to take me home. The only thing that calmed me just a bit was the oxygen mask.
Tonight I remember all of that as if it were some tragic movie playing in my head. Tragic because I was such a wuss. But something good did come out of that whole melodrama and he is sleeping 2 doors down with his blanket flung off of him yet again. My perfect boy. The love of my life.
Tomorrow he will be one.
I passed some birthday candles tonight at the store and realized I was perefectly within my rights to buy one that was shaped in a number 1.
Weird.

1.24.07 Who's your mommy?(Mommy)

Little boy ate peas at breakfast, so there may be a possible solution to the whole vegetable strike. I will let everyone know, since I know everyone is sitting on the edge of their seats waiting for updates and this fascinating topic.
Well, I am facing a weird transition at work. I had a younger teacher ask me for some advice and when we were done talking she referred to me as being a mom to her in that conversation. I think that it is rather telling; that I am in the "mom" category now. It was just yesterday that I was the young one, asking to be mothered. Heck, I still do. Those poor office ladies who have to deal with their imposition of an adoped daughter of sorts! How did I get to be someone that is a mom to other younger women?
Very weird.
I saw Lijah walk again a few times tonight. This time he actually showed his dad, although he hasn't officially showed me on his own without someone from June's rooting him on. Sigh.
Approximately 201 days until I can move to Portland for real with no obligations or anything else.
Feeling a little blah as I continue to close some of those doors from the past. 2 more days until his first birthday, I better cheer the heck up!

1.23.07 One year later.....(Mommy)

Exactly one year ago, on my due date, I was sitting at home, trying to will this boy out of me. I wondered where I would be a year from then, and now here I be..... with a toddler that walks. Yes, Elijah Thomas Harrison took his first steps today!
The place: June's (the babysitter)
The time: Sometime between 4 and 4:30 PM
Who was there: Me, Elijah (of course!), June, our friend Kim, her son Ayden, and June's daughters (of which there are too many to name!)
'Lijah was clinging to June, facing away from me, looking at Kim and Jessica (June's oldest daughter). He was quite excited and started stepping towards Kim and Jessica. Just as Elijah was about to go out on his own, Ayden tried to help him and inadvertently knocked Li Li over. Undeterred, Lijah got up with the help of June and started again. I watched as in seemingly slow motion, my son's tiny sneakers moved across the floor with no help from a support at all. 4 huge steps and he was spent as he sat down in a triumphant plunk. My jaw to the floor, I held back tears as I realized my baby boy was growing up. No doubt about it now, he is moving forward. Literally.
And he still refuses hie vegetables.

1.22.07 Crying (Mommy)

'Lijah and I got home around 10:30 last night since we were at a friend's house. So I was very surprised that my little guy got up around 7:30 as I was rushing to get everything ready to go. He didn't conk out for a nap until 3:20 or so and was sleeping at 3:50 when I picked him up. When I put him in the car he cried like he was being hurt or something. I haven't ever seen him so upset over nothing like this. Currently he is in his crib, crying every few minutes and then quietly resting. I don't dare peek on him.
We have to pick up the dad at 9:00 pm. I want 'Lijah to get some rest before then. He looks so sad and pathetic when he cries. He's got that lower lip protrudence going on really well.
MY son!
And he still won't eat his vegetables.

1.21.07 Birthday Gift (Mommy)

Someone's birthday is coming up. 'Lijah will officially be 1 year old on Friday. Hmmm, do all mothers feel this sense of disbelief mixed with sadness and excitement? I can't even begin to describe how his turning 1 makes me feel. I thought the intensity of the love would wear off a bit and kind of plateau but I was wrong wrong wrong. I still want to rock him to sleep and pick him up as soon as he makes that little "I'm unhappy" face. His crying, whether there's actually something wrong or not, still makes my heart melt and his smiles and laughter still make me want to eat him up.
There isn't anything I wouldn't do for him.

I have been thinking that I really should be blogging every night so I can show a true picture of what this little guy is doing. I get so busy and then put it off and then I don't remember half of the stuff he is doing.
I can tell you what he is not doing: walking, talking, and eating his once beloved vegetables. Oh heaven, he drives me to drink! (Metaphorically speaking of course, although......) While we were in Jersey he started talking and saying a whole snorkle of things. Then the minute we got off that plane in Vegas he just stopped. Not one word now, not even "cookie". No amount of cajoling will get him to even give pause to uttering words he once loved to shout. I don't get him. The walking (or lack thereof) I do understand. His balance is still really bad, although he will walk holding one hand in ours.
And then there is the vegetable matter. I rejoiced in the fact that my kid loved his peas and corn and stuff of that nature. Lately all he wants is oatmeal and ricecakes and, of course, cookies. Vegetables are outright refused. That little minx! He will close his mouth tightly if I try to feed him the offending greenage and will pour it all over his tray and stuff it in his chair when I let him feed himself. He gets very sneaky about it too, watching to see if I or Andy are paying attention before he casually tucks a vegetable between his side and the chair or slowly drops one over the edge of the tray. Everything I read says to not make a fight out of it, but he needs the nutrition. I'm not too worried about it overall, but I don't want to see this escalate into something bigger down the line.
Andy is in Portland now and I miss him more than I have missed him ever. Over the past few weeks I have really taken inventory of my emotional and spiritual state and all the events that rocked my world over the past 2 years. I took the time to wrestle with some difficult issues of pain and anger and made myself deal with them head on. Not only did that affect me physically, but consequently I have been very introverted and quiet as I look at my life and what I need to do in order to get where I am going. Between all that, and going back to work, and dealing with trying to close on this house in Portland, Andy being gone for a few days has thrown me for a loop. When Elijah saw Andy walk away from our car as we dropped him off at the airport, he got very upset and started crying out for his dad. This is the first time this has happened. That really has set the tone for me during this current trip.
I want to be out of this town full of intense memories so that I can really put the past behind me and never look back.
I want my husband to be in Portland near his family, friends, and doctors so that I feel safe about his physical health, mental state, and overall happiness.
I want my son to be in a beautiful place with a more free thinking liberal environment. He will be surrounded by people who will love him and he truely can be raised by "the village" that it takes to raise an amazing child.
I wish that my gift to Elijah for his birthday could be us living in Portland NOW, not later.

1.13.07 Untitled (Daddy)

Elijah is continuing to become more and more little boy. He is also getting to be more and more curious. His little attitude is surfacing much more, and is clear when he screams in disgust now. I just put him in his crib for nap. He did NOT like that, and decided to scream for about 10 minutes. We don't go in there, we don't tell him no more than once, and we do not spank him for that. Rebecca says kids like attention at this age, and even if it is negative attention. So, letting him realize that he can be mad, but that he isn't going to get anywhere by screaming or throwing a tantrum is how we are dealing with it.

He is also not sure he wants to become a toddler. Yes, he will stand very easily now, but often times we have to stand him up 10 times before he decides that he'll stand up on his own. He would rather have Mom and Dad pick him up and take him everywhere. Even this morning I was sitting on the floor, talking to him while trying to get him to stand. Every time I stood him up on his feet he would lean forward with his hands out so I would pick him up and hold him. Didn't happen. Lijah does eventually stand, but hasn't been happy about it. I wonder if he is realizing that Mom and Dad are cutting him off a little bit, so he's frustrated and just deciding to do whatever he can to still be a little boy. Yes, he'll be a little boy for a long time still, but he'll be walking in no time. I actually watched him crawl over to the sliding glass door, and start talking to the dog (who was outside). 'Lijah took his hands off the slider a couple of times, and stood with no problem. His standing just has to be on his own terms right now. Believe me, we do not really want him to be walking, as it means a whole other plan of attack for Mom and me, but we still seem to be working with him to get to the walking stage. Damn instincts.

Oh, Elijah likes to eat dirt from the potted plants. He did it the other day in front of Mom, and did it again yesterday while Dad was on the phone with aunt Marylin. Marylin got a good chuckle listening to me tell him he had to take the dirt and rocks out of his mouth. This morning I found him chewing on a piece of Aloe plant. That can't be good, and he was immediately cautioned NOT to do that, so he decided Mom's cell phone tasted better.

Other news? 'Lijah fell all the way down the stairs a few days ago. Mom was upstairs with him, Dad was downstairs working. I frequently hear thumps upstairs, so the first couple thuds didn't really grab my attention. They continued though, so I ran from the dining room to the bottom of the stairs. He had a little bloody lip, but didn't appear to have any other scratches or bruises, and still doesn't. He cried for about 2 minutes. We comforted him with a keekee (key key), meaning "cookie". He sucked that up and was fine. Mom, of course felt horrible, but 'Lijah was fine. Little boys are going to fall down, they just shouldn't be falling down the stairs at nearly 1yr of age. Mom has been a lot more proactive about putting the gates up now.

What is Elijah eating? Stew with peas, lamb, carrots, onions, potatoes and squash. He's eating sliced squash by itself (good boy). Steel cut and old-fashioned oatmeal. Bananas are a real treat, and he usually gets them all over his face. Broccoli, asparagus, the occasional bit of pasta, apple juice, paper, corn, crackers, dribbles of red wine, water, formula and whole milk. We have been transitioning him to whole milk, because after the last can of formula is gone, that's it, no more of that crap. Thank goodness for organic, pesticide free whole milk. Makes good espresso drinks too.

1.4.07 New year, new stuff (Mommy)

A couple new things have emerged this new year... already!. First, Elijah his evolving in how he plays. When we got on the plane I laid 'Lijah down on the seat next to me and put his blanket over him and showed him the sleep sign so he knew it was time to sleep. I returned to my book, but looked over at our boy every few minutes to check on him. Lo and behold, there was my son, happily drawing the blanket over his head and lowering it quickly with a giggle. He was playing peek-a-boo with himself and was cracking himself up while he was doing it! Too cute! Andy got a kick out of it as well and said that he didn't know of any other kids that age who knew how to do that. Knowing our kid, he has probably been doing this for a few weeks now while in his crib and he has just now let us see him do it. We have read in our handy dandy baby book about children this age playing helpless to get things done for them and such- boy does that fit our boy to a T! Who knows what other tricks he has hiding up his sleeve!
'Lijah continues to enjoy his two "phones". He now has one upstairs and one downstairs. He still wants our phones though, and whines if he can't have them.
Speaking of whining, 'Li-Li (a new nickname) is doing alot of it. I hate to blame grandparents for so much, but this kid has become very accustomed to getting what he wants when he wants it. This is due mostly to the fact that we have been on vacation for the past 2 weeks and 'Lijah has a Grandmother (who shall remain nameless...!) who will do just about anything for him. He has her very much wrapped around his little finger. And now our kid expects Mom and Dad to be the same. If we so much as look at him wrong the lower lip comes out. Just yesterday he actually cried and staged a little protest in Trader Joes. This is unheard of for our kid and such behavior will not be tolerated. Another minute longer and he would have been taken to the car with Dad! He got back to normal life just in time! We now have our work cut out to despoil the little guy!!! Oh well.
A new trick was learned tonight in the bath tub. Mama gave 'Lijah some cups to play with in the tub and he very quickly caught on to drinking from them. It was a bit much to keep filling them with water from the faucet and not the tub, but well worth it and we got to show off the new trick to Dad. Andy was very proud of 'Lijah.
Now that Elijah is about to turn 1 year, I have been trying to teach him to be more and more self sufficient and "unbaby". Instead of carrying him to his chair or to Dad or to the stairs, I have been walking him there. Instead of taking him upstairs, I have been following him while he crawls upstairs on his own. I have also been trying to dress him and change him in a sitting or standing position(when ever possible) to help him feel more grown up. He is not a little baby any more and I want him to see that we know that and that he will be treated differently because of it. We can't treat him like a baby forever, although I would love to do it a little longer! This is tough for me, I miss him being so very small. I am tempted to answer his every whimper and call still. I long to rock him like he was a month old instead of a year. But I am being very disciplined in treating him like the older child he is. I can't be selfish and do things to make me feel good. I have to do what is right for him. Sacrifices need to be made, and emotionally that is a hard pill to swallow. I imagine every mother goes through this. I hope I don't feel like this the rest of his life. This must be the hard part people were always telling me about. You want him to be grown up and independent, but you don't. You miss him being a baby but you don't. Everything is so contradictary. Bittersweet at every bend. I'm glad I have been savoring each blessed moment.
How long before I can look at my son and not HAVE to kiss his little face? How long will it be before my heart doesn't automatically break when I see hom cry? How long until I can hold him and not still feel like I can never get enough? How long before I don't want to keep standing and watching him sleep in his crib? I sound like a psychopath.

1.1.07 Beginning of 2007(Daddy)

We are still in New Jersey, and will be until tomorrow evening. It has been a nice trip, and I would be completely happy if the vacation continued, but we both must work and make money. Dang it anyway. Work hasn't really started backing up until the last few days of the '06. Now I have quite a few people to see when we get back to Vegas and another trip to Portland soon thereafter.

Elijah was acting a little funny this morning. Not funny in a bad way, just new. We brought him into the bedroom with us, as it was time to get up, and we usually play with him a little in the morning. He started playing with his tongue. He would stick it out and move it around in his mouth and make noise. It looked a little like he was cleaning his teeth, or feeling his teeth with his tongue, but we're not sure what he was doing. Mommy thought he was playing with new sounds, as he was making new noises this morning as well.

'Lijah is endlessly entralled with technology and gadgets. He now has a cellular flip phone of his own. Granny Barb works for Verizon Wireless and had an extra, older phone, so Elijah now has one to play with. He still sees other people's phones and the mystical, magical laptop and goes ga-ga, but he seems pretty satisfied with his new, old Motorola flip phone.

Where does 'Lijah stand on standing? He is pretty close, as I know Mom has blogged about before. We keep watching and analyzing it though. If you hold 'Lijah's hands he really walks well, AND FAST! He will walk to the kitchen in about the same amount of time that it would take you or me. He only problem is balance. If he had his balance he'd be a little walking terror. He still just leans forward too much to really stand himself upright on his own. I have balanced him and then let go of him many times. Most of the time he just plops down on his butt. Other times, though, he'll stand for 5-10 seconds. He'll go even longer, closer to 30 seconds, if he has shoes on. What will get him to the walking point? We don't think there is anything we can do, it will just be time.

We are starting 2007 on a high note, a really high note. The three of us will be living back in Portland in no time. I am guessing 6.5 months before we have moved ourselves back and REALLY started life anew. Rebecca and I are incredibly anxious. We are thinking about where to place furniture, what we want to get ourselves as a house warming gift, what colors we may want to paint, what lawn mower we will get, how the dogwood in the backyard will look in the spring, where I will be holding classes for my clients, how the animals will like a "real yard", and a whole slew of other things. Happy New Year everyone!